Life.Work.Alcohol

Last night was any other work night. BORING. But that's before Anne and Vian "persuaded" us to go with them to Gerry's to "celebrate Ramadan". Hahaha! By the way, we're all Christians. At first, we were a bit hesistant since you know our boss is kinda crazy, and us gone for an hour could be a BIG issue. But when my boss accidentally spilled his coffee on his pants (more on the crotch area) we found out they're gonna have an executive meeting. So, we suddenly felt hopeful. Haha. And then through divine "alcoholic god" intervention, he was called in the meeting. So we took that as an opportunity to push through with our plan. And even if it was (it still is) raining, we just grabbed some umbrellas and off we went...to Gerry's. So with Anne,Vian,Aiza,Twisha,Lily and Mich we grabbed some breakfast then drank green mango margarita. Divine!!! I don't know if it's the right mix of alcohol and fruit or if I just really missed drinking. Haha. I love it. So after an hour we headed back and tough luck, the meeting's still running. SO, I tried working despite of my semi-tipsyness. Haha! They thought I was drunk. Umm.. NO. Sorry. :P

That's why I miss my Pier 6th friends. I only got soooo drunk... as in stoned drunk with them. And I swear, you would not want to see me drunk. According to witnesses (haha) I speak annoying english when I'm drunk. I also do excessive hand, feet, and body movements. My voice range also increases 2 octaves higher (imagine that!) it's migraine inducing. Once, I got soo drunk in Off the Grill I wasn't even able to reach Joint's (starring Pau of Pinoy idol naks haha, Odj, Borns, Mike) 2nd set. And in the cab I was trying my fucking best not to drown the floor with foreign food and drink particles (more commonly known as "suka" hahaha), good thing I brought my huge scarf/hanky with me. I tried to gag myself. But As the taxi screeched to a halt in front of my Lola's house in Q.C, it all came pouring out. Hahaha! So I was literally dragged by my friends to the CR. Haha. There were "particles" in my hair, clothes, everywhere. Haha! And the funny thing was, I still went out (where my other friends were) and made a total fool of myself as they laughed their ass off...still because of the particles. So going back to the annoying things I do and did, on top of the list which I was never proud of... was me acting like I'm high on love pills. Haha! I'll just leave out the details. But almost all the time, I regret it the day after. (but not the last ;P) And last but not the least, passed out...wasted...stoned...I once lost my cellphone and ipod. And they were just beside me, BESIDE ME! I didn't even notice! I could have been raped, and I still wouldn't notice. Tsk. One time during our pier 6th outing in Batangas I almost lost my phone AGAIN after it got buried in the sand. And the worst part out of the whole wasted thing, are the hang-overs. It's the worst feeling in the world. And I tell myself everytime that I will never drink again. So here I am...STILL DRUNK. And high, every single day. :P

So yeah, you would not want to see me drunk. Believe me. My cousin Chollo, my private nurse, would second the motion. His shirt, the one they changed me with last Christmas (when I wasn't even able to reach 12am to greet families and friends since I was too wasted to stand and get up from sleeping on the sink), is still with me. :P


Just imagine how much pain they had to endure and tolerate when I'm intoxicated. Bad.

And here's me... last Christmas..comatose mode. With my bestfriend Catch.:P

ONLINE SHOPPING: My next target!

I've been chasing the seller for a day. I guess that's what happens when your online store becomes sooo popular and in demand. Well, they posted an advisory that they will be back in track soon. But, I can't wait to get my hand on this fab shirt! I'll also buy one for Algn.:)

Presenting, Seafoamfashion's PRIDE Shirt. I'd definitely definitely wear this on the streets..or just about anywhere. :P Gay Pride?! Hahaha!


* The neon print - P350* Regular color print - P300 (model customized her own shirt).

This shirt is only available in 4 Unisex sizes. XS-L. So it depends on you how you'd alter yours . :) I love what the girl (she's pretty too!) did to her shirt! :)

MUST HAVE THIS!!!

*pics from seafoamfashion.multiply.com

Weekend Eating Spree

So, my weekend started with an eating spree. Aside from my Banchetto panic buys on a Saturday morning (which consisted of baconsilog, bbq, cake, and red egg), I also met up with my family for lunch. We ate at CAUSEWAY in Libis. It's a chinese resto we've been eating in even way back my RDS days. Well, it was just across the street. I love eating out with my crazy familia..and this time my autistic brother went with them! We ordered chicken feet (which I didn't eat), shrimp dumplings (which I also didn't eat haha), sweet&sour something (people..i always have a hard time identifying pork from chicken), and spicy spareribs. I was so hungry I ended up being the last to put down my chopstix. Haha. Well, aside from my monster stomach, there was also chili sauce. And I'm a sucker for chili sauce. I can eat any meal with chili sauce. So there, the food is great! I am not a fan of chinese food, but yeah the food there is delicious. The price however is not that cheap, and also not that expensive. More or less it was P400 per head. Thanks to my parents for the free lunch. Himala hindi KKB! Hahaha!

* i wasn't able to take a picture of the main course. Hihi. Kc gutom nga duuuh.
* Welcome back to the family Joot (my retard brother)! Wahahaha.
* And here we are smoking outside after eating like monsters. Ay, ako lang pala yun.

Well, now my sister, her bf and I just got home from another food expedition. This time we went to a resto at the back of SDS hospital. I forgot the name, but I'll ask MIles (my sister's bf) tomorrow. :) This place is situated in a secluded area in Marikina, but you'll be suprised that lots of people eat here. Awhile back, some people had to stand to wait for an available table. Good for us we went there earlier when the place was still half-full coz once you get caught in their food traffic, expect your food to come 15-20 mins. after. Well, I don't blame them coz the food is soooo good! at very reasonable prices. I ordered Arrabiata (spicy pasta; I tell you, it tastes just like Pasto's..for half the price-- P120) and spicy chicken wings (tastes like TGIF's buffalo wings only for P80). My sister bought a White Cheese Pizza (8 slices for only P120), Bangusilog, and Ametriciana (a red sauce pasta with olive oil and bacon, I wasn't able to taste it but I bet it rocks--priced at P120). We ordered bottomless iced tea (my sister and I shared and the waiter was nice enough to refill our glass every 10 mins) and chilled milk (1 tall glass for P35!) And oh, we just loooooove their cheesecake!!! It's the best cheesecake I've tasted EVER. And it's only P80 per slice! I could just live here.

* White cheese pizza HEAVEN. :) And it's freshly cooked.

They still have a lot on their menu, next time I would try their smoothies (chocolate/strwaberry shake with whip cream). Maybe their tuna pesto (it looked yummy! I looked like a pesto stalker as our next table neighbor finished hers). Also, their baconsilog (i'm a bacon addict), margarita pizza, and their nachos (which was like a flood of nachos! It's that many I swear--only for P120).

I can't wait to be back there. Go and visit our little food paradise. :)

This Girl Loves Vintage

Well, as you all know I love online shopping (it's the most convenient invention ever--saves time and energy!). Haller it's a new brainer! Read my previous posts. So anyway, a long long time ago (haha approximately 2 years ago) before the multiply shops ' economic boom (i just looove using this word haha) I was already addicted to Ebay. Well, for one stuffs there are cheaper, especially the branded ones. I even got the whole (well almost everyone haha) B-merch into the ebay bidding craze. Before I proceed, let me give a shout-out to Yen, my #1 ebay follower. Hi Yen! Well, she was able to purchase numerous dresses and trench coats that served it's purpose when she flew to Canada after she got married. :) So... I love ebay because this is where I get to purchase a nice unused black pumps for only a hundred bucks! Cool huh?! There are hundreds of sellers in ebay and there were just some special ones that really caught my fancy. And my top favorite is a vintage clothing store (based in the US) named: LULLIEVINTAGE.

As I've said all items are in the US. The prices are in dollars. The item's starting bid are usually low. Very tempting! I swear I've been tempted numerous times.But then with just a day or two left before the auction ends the prices rocket way up to almost P5K+++ for just one dress! And I wouldn't burn 5K for a dress I know I would find in our local ukay-ukay store. Still! I admire the unique pieces of clothing they're selling, and I admire how their models bring the pieces to life. And I just love how they make outrageous pieces, wearable! With just the right accs and shoes. I sooo love vintage! I usually check this store out for some style inspirations. Here are some of the items currently available for auction (slash bidding) in their fab store.

* I'm so in love with the wool capelet (1st pic). *swoons* And yeah I admit, I currently have this addiction to anything plaid. :P See how their models work it! :) I'd totally marry them. Haha. And here's more...

* ... where can I ever find something similar to that green emboidered babydoll minidress! And the floral babydoll dress (1st pic). I have to check out all the thrift stores I can go to. :P

And here are some "outrageous" pieces that only these pretty girly models (I'm saying this out of pure adoration) can carry. Oh ruffles, sequins, laces, garters...eeeek! Would you wear these?! Can you?! Crazy.

* I can maybe wear outfit #2 and #4 but the rest... I'd rather be dead than be caught wearing 'em. But see how it still UNFAIRLY looks cute on the models (again said with overflowing adoration).

Now this.. this ensemble reminds me sooo much of my seatmate Aiza. See why... :)

...parang may resemblance talaga. Good job Aiz! Hehe!:)

For the last batch of clothes--hmm, they're also pretty cute BUT I'd probably have a hard time thinking where and when I'm gonna wear them. All except for the plaid oversized bf polo and sweater that I'd probably wear any day. But I'd say they're all pretty. :)


So there, if you have the time and the money/PAYPAL ('coz I only got time but no money! HAHA!), check out their ebay store. Here's the pathway to vintage heaven!

http://stores.ebay.ph/LULLIE-VINTAGE-CLOTHING

HS Life: Nostalgic CHEERING outfits!

I was fixing my room and going through some stuffs when I came across my cheering costumes (i swear all the pompoms I used are still around here somewhere). Haha! I suddenly got ecstatic and felt nostalgic as I pulled them out of my old stuffs box. I wondered if it still fits me and guess what?! It did!!! So I scampered and got my mom's cam and took a picture. Thought I'd share them with you guys. :P

* First year - I had no plans of joining the cheering squad since I'm scared of auditions. But one day, I got a call..an invitation, to join the team since they heard I was doing ballet classes back then. The first thing I asked was if I still had to do the audition thing, and they said no. Tough luck! Haha. So anyway, cheering competition is the biggest thing during our yearly Sportsfest. No one really cared if we won the other sports category, it was this competition that really gets everyone's adrenaline pumping high. Surprisingly, as rookies we beat the batch higher than us which during that time is already a big thing. :)

* Sophomore year - Jac (hi jac!) was our captain throughout my cheering years and she did an excellent job. She is a crazy crazy girl (until now and i miss her!) but when it comes to practices she becomes this other person, a professional cheering monster (haha in a good way). We really worked our asses off just to perfect our routines that we forgot to have our costume made!This outfit was formulated only weeks before the actual competition that's why it's not that fabulous but it's still not that bad.:) We won 1st place this year! My sister's batch (they're in their 4th year that time) was named champion. :)


our cheerdance routine!!!Tipak was named after guess who? hahaha! Jac kc eh!:P

* Junior high - Now this was the time we got really really serious with our practices. Have you watched the movie Bring it On? Well, the scenario was definitely like that. There were a lot of dramas, fighting (also with the other batch), spying during practices (of other batches), and other stuffs. It was crazy! Lunch or recess was never about food, it was spent mostly on practicing. After classes we pratice more. That was the time I barely get to see my family since I go to practice early in the morning (like 6 am!) and I get home super late. As a team, we also had to watch ESPN (cheering competition...altogether) to learn new routines and see how it's done, so we could perform and construct them later. We were coached by Donna (hi donna!) one of the cheerleaders from the winning team the year before. And as our coach she was damn good....and I was scared of her! Our stunts got harder and our dance routines more complicated. After each day I got bruises, and "bukols!" and muscle pains. I think I bought all the Salonpas (and Redbull!) at Mercury. Haha! I fell from a pyramid we're constructing once while practicing at Marikina Sports Center and after falling I swear I got semi-paralyzed I wasn't able to move for 15 secs! It also got Jessie's outh bleeding (sorry) hehe. Some of our friends from the Pep Squad panicked and ran to Mcdo to get some ice only to find me up on the pyramid again 10 secs. later. I had a swollen neck for 2 weeks after that fall. This was also the year I got a blackeye c/o Chic-C. Haha! I will never forget that! Coz it got me a gf (haha). Well we were playing around and she hit me right below the right eye with her bony elbow. And I had that blackeye until our CEAP Cheering Exhibition at Xavier School. And I could actually see people looking at it. Haha hilarious!

So there kumbaga sa economic boom, this year was our cheerdancing boom. Haha. This year we competed in the Johnson N' Johnson cheering competition at Makati Coliseum. Going there I ate 2 pcs. of hardboiled egg coz I was sooo hungry and a hungry girl can't you know, cheer. Haha. So we were waiting at the bleachers since we're still waiting for the other teams to arrive, and were so annoyed because we were sitting between Roosevelt Sumulong and Roosevelt Q.C. and they were shouting curse words at each other. I didn't get it. Since you know they came from the same family, so we were trying to contain our laughter. 30 mins. away from our performance we heard a news that one of our drumstick was broken, apprently sabotaged by Holyspirit girls. Haha. I don;t know if it's true but they were throwing evil glances at us. Whatever, they didn't have to, afterall they were sponsored by Adidas (since Danica Sotto's part of their team) and they're wearing the same shoes...and we're wearing our white unbranded sneakers. Haha! With all the commotion and noise and nervousness I started to feel my stomach's deadly churn. I had to let it out. So I asked one of my friends to go with me to the CR. After my ritual, someone shouted for our names, when we got in the stadium we found everyone on the floor and my PE teacher looked so furious since they cant start because we were missing. Haha! Well, we finished the show and eventhough we were not proclaimed as champions (of course it went to HolySpirit duh) we were happy it was over. Afterwards, we headed to another practice, we still had another competition the next day (total exhaustion!) for GamePlan and it was televised. I can't remember if we won but I think we did. I was too exhausted to remember (til now haha).

So back to our Sportfest, that year we were proclaimed as champions.:) It was announced during our monday assembly and together with my other teammates I wasn't able to contain my tears. Haha. All my dieting, practicing under the scorching heat of the sun, our sweat, musclepains and other pains including lovelife sacrifices paid off. :) We were asked to compete again in JnJ but we turned it down since we all decided we needed some time for other things...like our lovelifes. Haha!

I lost my 4th year costume (Louchie ibalik mo na!). Haha! It was our last year in the squad. But we still practiced much for our Sportfest. Champions.:)

I will always miss this chapter of my life. But beyond that, I will always miss the people I shared long hours with (all 4 years), laughters, smiles, frowns, tears, disappointments, excitement, anticipations, frustrations, lovelifes (hahaha kulet lang), bisyos (wink wink), blackeyes (haha), and more... truly one of the best times of my life. :)

...how sweet it is...

I had a terrible day before I headed to work. I arrived at Unionbank at around 1:30 a.m. and to be honest I was really not in the mood to work or talk to anyone. When I entered our office door, seeing Aiza sitting at her desk made me smile a little...coz she also had that wide grin. And when I got to my table this is what surprised me...

..with a note (that got Aiza laughing coz I was so reluctant to read or even touch it 'coz I felt shy! Really! I am shy sometimes:P) that says:

"For the girl that brightens other people's day. I just thought I'd return the favor and brighten yours, for a change... Hope it worked."


Awww. :) I don't know from whom it was. Although, I have a faint idea who haha.

So, for that person who sent me these beautiful malaysian mums and the sweetest note on a card that smells uber nice (haha)..THANK YOU. Hope you know IT DID brighten my day. :)

FALLEN

Where does one go from here? How does one get over a heart she lost, including hers? It's heartbreaking...to walk away from the one person you've loved this much, someone who completes your day, someone who makes up most of your dreams. But it's more heartbreaking, knowing she never understood how you really felt, because for her all you are is a whiney lil drama queen. Loving never stops after one says I love you too. It's a work in progress. And it is a two-way street. Hope she realizes that.

All I could do is just pray...and hope that she finds her way back home.

The Co-Relation of Shopping and Emotions

I had a major fight with someone today and tomorrow might be the start of my new life--minus YOU. Whatever, I think it's about time. I wouldn't elaborate anymore since this entry's supposed to be about the co-relation of shopping and emotions. For us girly girls, shopping could shoot up our adrenaline and endorphins as much as a naked Brazilian model. For me, it's one of the things that makes me extremely high of happiness. Even window shopping does. Even those cheap vente nalang stores, whatever it's called. So anyway, as I've said I had a fucking bad night. And so I did what I normally do whenever I'm sad or depressed or fucked up... I browsed through my multiply site for any new potential buy, 10 minutes later I've already submitted an order form for a dress which I have to pay for within 3 days. Darn. Mich asked me if everytime I go emo I shop, coz she said if that's the case it means I've gone emo too many fucking times already. Haha funny. :P This is what tramped my numb, angry and fucking semi-broken heart:

* from glamline.multiply.com (Ruffled dress, P500). The dress comes with the belt. Happiness.


I dunno if I would actually wear it or if looks cuter in actual. But I bought it anyway. And besides, I heard my sister say it's cute. I can just make her wear it.

How I wish relationships are as easy as shopping.

To make-up or Not to make-up

I love make-ups, especially concealers. I think it's the greatest invention ever made. I put make-up even when I'm just going to the market, at least some powder and a little blush. Just so I would not look like I've just gotten out of a coffin (I fucking hate undereye circles). Well I don't take too much time putting on make-up, that's because I've basically memorized my 5-minute make-up routine that I can even do it with the lights off. So anyway, I always wear make up. Not too heavy but enough to cover my skin imperfections (unfortunately I do have one too). There was this one time I didn't put any make-up going to work since I was in a hurry, and I arrived the same time as my ex-crush Michelle (not you Mich :P). We talked and I had to explain I was not wearing any make-up that's why I look pale and wasted yada yada and before we went our separate workstation ways she said "You look better without it", d kaya!!! But in case, she reads this: Hi Michelle! Miss you and Gretch.:)

* with and without make-up look. WEH!

Oh crap, I have to shampoo my blush brush. Yes I do shampoo my make-up brushes. You have to or else millions of fungi would feast on your face. Yuck.

Little Miss Hipchick

So, I was in a 70's party last night (Gabe's surprise party!) and I decided to come dressed as a hippie . Well, if I've known I would be the only one (except Anne) who's gonna take the costume thing seriously I would have worn normal clothes. I enjoyed my 70's wardrobe trip (with my dad haha) though. :) And because I think I would have been a cute hippie (haha walang aangal!) I decided to make this entry. My tribute to my past life! Haha. This kid just love love loves vintage!:)

If I have a time machine I would most probably try and travel back to the 1960's til the early 70's . I think this is the era in which I would fit best. I am a hippie by heart. Maybe I am one in my past life. Hihi. Well, for one I love vintage whatevers, from clothes to shoes to bags to furnitures to everything! My favorite life altering motto is : Spread peace and love (which is very hippie! duh! and my multiply page welcome message). I only see them in movies and through my Dad's stories but I believe they have some kind of intimate relationship with nature (unless I'm just imagining things) which brings them peace or something. Well, I love nature too (not the i'll-kill-the-chinese-people-for-eating-babysharks by lily kind) and I always look forward to my everyday quiet time. I too just love love love and patronize songs inspired by peace, equality, and love...songs like Imagine & Love is All You Need(by the Beatles), One love (Bob Marley), Blowin' in the Wind (Bob Dylan) and many others that have been significantly famous during the revolution. I admire how musicians of that time brought fire, passion and purpose to their music and how everyone wanted CHANGE... in politics, social awareness and cultural acceptance. During this time the Black Revolution (fight against racism by black people), Vietnam War, Women's Liberation and the famous Sexual Revolution occured.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well, it's the latter I'm most interested about. Fine fine I am a very sexual (sexual as in contagiously affectionate to everyone and proudly BI haha) person! Well, I've discovered that people that time were very open with their sexuality and their knowledge of the subject became so vast that a counter-culture which rejected the conservative ways and embraced individual freedom was formed. Sex, which was once a mystifying and taboo subject, became as normal as saying Jesus. With sexual freedom and exploration, the intake of psychedelic drugs became as easy as buying a piece of candy from the store (yeaaaah weed pa!!!). Orgies were held like a normal gathering on a Sunday afternoon and 10% of the total population (according to survey!) turned out to be gay (it would have been great to be gay in an era of sexual freedom). People, even children (freakin' unbelievable), were encouraged to spread "Free Love", meaning anyone could love anyone, anywhere (seriously?!), anytime, without guilt (that's what I'm talking about and that's how it should be!).

"The '60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great."
- Abbie Hoffman

But one significant event during the late 60's which I think has the most impact, (since I'm a hardcore feminist) was the Women's Liberation. It was the time when women no longer wanted to be stereotyped as plain housewives (you know Stepford Wives style)...when women finally gained their status, freedom and equality in a male dominant society. Feminism became popular and women all over the world started to ackowledge their strengths and power in the society and in their personal lives. This forever altered the power equilibrium all over the world. Yey! Girl power! :P


"I wish someone would have told me that, just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married."
- Marlo Thomas

"Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that it's not all she wants to be."
- Betty Rollin

So that's about it, I just love the 60's-70's. But the primary reason why is the fact that during this time the biggest social, cultural and political changes happened. It was a really time of CHANGE. And nearly everyone was involved and had a cause. That's what we need! Well, I might be boring you so I'm gonna end here. And as what I always say: Spread PEACE and LOVE!!!


P.S.
Here's my best hipchick impression. My dad was my judge! Sorry for my chaotic background.Hihi!:)


"I believe true happiness is derived from helping others and spreading love. Sharing Unconditional Love is the best high you can experience. Pure Energy flows through you unhindered by doubt, fear or expectation. It is magical beyond belief. Try it sometime!"
Skip Stone

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. "
John Lennon

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

"Those times i burned my guitar was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love.I love my guitar."
Jimi Hendrix


LOVE IS A SACRIFICE. Read that boy angas. :/

Week1: Row 4 STYLE File!

So... since we (Aiza, Twisha, Anne, Vian, Kathy) are the only few people who dress up in the office I decided that I'll start posting our office fashion pics here every week. It's not super fab though (you might expect too much) but believe me it's within our office's dressing up standard since most people in the office wear the most comfortable outfits they could probably find in their closet (which is good) but we on the other hand prefer to sacrifice for vanity. Aiza and I talked about it, coz some people might perceive us as "maarte" and I know some may not like us at all (as confirmed by Shellie in which I don't give a fuck), but we both agreed that this is just our way of making ourselves happy and a little motivated to go to work everyday. Since we work at night most of the time we just stay home and sleep during weekends so we really don't have the chance to wear all our clothes. And what's wrong with making some effort to look "better" even if no one will really see them? So I would like to share how we try and raid our closet everyday. For this week, here's what we wore (I was not able to take Vian and Anne's pic):

*My best laid-back cowboy inspired outfit. Cowboy plaid top from Lefacionez.multiply.com, white deep v-neck shirt from Ebay (American Apparel), long beaded cross necklace from a HS friend, jeans from Swish and orange pumps from ate-kuya in 168!:)


* White pleated schoolgirl top from my HS friend's online store nitaclothing.multiply.com, gray pleated skirt from a thrift shop in Cubao (aka the fuck skirt sabi nga ni Algn), Pink pumps from Juan. (AIZA where did you get your outfit? Share mo din! I love it it's so vintage!)

* Tricia's Bday aka prom night sabi ni Kit - Blue dress from Tantease.multiply.com, Yellow peeptoe flats from ate-kuya 168! Reversible blue-black drop earrings from 168 that I got for P80! They love it!:) I also love Tricia's dress! She looks so fresh and pretty in it. I love the cut too. AND her white glads so fab (which she got from Primadonna) although I know I would not be able to pull that one off hehe. But she did effortlessly anyway. Aiza looks uber hot as usual. She's the only person I know who could pull off wearing super short dresses and clothes without looking trashy. I love her shimmery kimono dress/tunic and her yellow pumps. So flambouyant (in Algn's term).:)

Tune in for more pics this week!:) Although I have a feeling I'd probably dress down for days.

Tricia's Day

I'm still at work and I'm blogging. Haha! So anyway, it's Tricia's birthday today! She just turned 21. Fuck, it means I should start with my midlife crisis ASAP. But then, I am in no crisis! Well, maybe a little bit with a little less guilt (hey everyone deserves to be happy! Especially a girl emotionally drained. If you know what I mean.) I'm happy and YOU know why. (*blush*blush*). My boss asked me once if I am experiencing any midlife crisis, and I told him NO. With full conviction! Well, if I really am there's no way I would lie about it. Age never scared me. Maybe death does, but not age. Coz just like what I said, it is after all just a number. I'm out (bi daw sabi nila vian!), I have a nice job, and I have super fabulously crazzzzy friends, so what else would I ever need? Oh yeah, LOVE. I have that too (BUT I wouldn't elaborate any further since I am over over the top right now). Midlife crisis, it is a disease. It makes one super duper emo...depressed...feeling fucked up...AND confused. AND it even leads to morbid thoughts like Suicide. I have heard some suicide stories wherein the damsel or hamster (? hahaha) in distress are aged 24-28. Darn. Well, so far I'm feeling safe. Although I really have this fear of ledges especially in balconies or rooftops, coz I still don't know what I could do. Haha, seriously. Well, I smoke! And it's the closest I can ever be to being suicidal, right now. So anyway, it's Tricia's day. And so far, it has been fun. Here's our team pix!:)


Just got back from Eastwood for a late breakfast in Heaven N' Eggs with the marketing team plus Shelliefur. And I have a feeling that sometimes I annoy my boss. And I don't fucking care. Ha! Here's Twisha with her cute cake! (From lily and mich).

Need to sleep ASAP, I still have 2 parties to go to later. And Aiza! It's only because I love my friends (and cousin) so much! Oo cge na kasama ka na dun. :P Weh.

LSS for today: WHY CAN'T I?

...by liz phair.

Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you.
It's just like we were meant to be.

Holding hands with you, and we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right.
And I've got someone waiting too.

What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me,
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up,
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too.

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch,
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch,
But wouldn't it be beautiful.

Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning.

High enough for you to make me wonder,
Where it's goin'.
High enough for you to pull me under,
Somethin's growin'.
Out of this that we can control,
Baby I am dyin'.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you.

Keira Knightly on Pregnancy

"That's a good reason to have a kid. They won't say I'm anorexic any more. Shit, I've got to have a child."
- Pin thin actress Keira Knightley, on getting pregnant and growing a baby belly

*from www.perezhilton.com

I TOTALLY GET HER! HUHUHU! PEOPLE CAN REALLY BE SKINNY WITHOUT BEING ANOREXIC. AHEM. HATE IT. I AM ALSO THINKING OF GETTING MYSELF PREGNANT JUST TO GET FAT. THAT CURSE!

What's Hot: VINTAGE SHIRTS/TEES

I just love vintage tees, they have this power to take anyone back to a particular time...like a Time Machine! Haha. Well, I recently bought a Bob Marley Neon Splash Shirt from 168 and I totally heart it! I got this from a store in 168 mall facing the foodcourt, for P300. You cannot however haggle since this floor is where the "high-end" stores are situated. And I assume the rent's also higher. Haha. So going back to my blue Bob Marley shirt, wearing it makes me feel so Rasta! Hehe. I just felt like grabbing a pipe and smoke maryjanes while listening to his music. Well, I didn't do that. :P But some people loved the shirt too anyway. And I wore it with my favorite kidada charm bracelet I got from peachesontop.multiply.com:)

* thanks mich for the pic:)

There are other shirts in that store and I swear I was so close to buying their Beatles shirt but since I already own one (in white which I bought in SM hehe) with a heavy heart I let it go. Which I wish I didn't! Well, I'd buy it (and stash some more!) when I go there again. I was also able to buy a statement shirt from Wetseal which I purchased on Ebay. It's a white tee with a glittery pink "Excuse Me I'm VIP" printed on it. I love it! And a yellow shirt (which I decided to sell since it's too short) with a white print saying "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me". Hihi. See pics here: http://paxaisa.blogspot.com/2008/07/x-files-of-shoppingera.html :)

I also got this violet Birdie (with a Mcdonalds logo on the back) shirt from ano verruns store at a nearby market. And it's only for P75. Haha. I'd have to find my pic wearing it though. Will post it as soon as I find it from my mala Payatas files in our PC. I bought a shirt a korean statement shirt last year from lefacionez.multiply.com, of course in white, with a print "I love honey beyond paradise", sooo cute. Our CEO even noticed it. Well I wore it in the Ateneo Certificate Course grad in our office pantry. Haha.

But my American Apparel Deep V-neck shirt still tramps them all. Haha.

You could always dress them down by wearing jeans and sneakers or with skinnies and stillettos. Dress it up with cute accs, a cute belt and you're good to go! I just love shirts. :)

Share where you bought yours!:)

Boiling Point Two

How long can a girl wait? How long 'til she gets drained from all the hurt, pain and frustration this love brings? How long could she ever contain this soul that has been breaking free since the day she realized she deserves better? Her spirit is lost. Her spirit has been lost since the day she looked her in the eye and gave her heart away. Like a fallen angel.. unguarded and tangled, she waits for the silver lining. With just a slight flicker of hope left, she prays... things might still change. She might still change. Soon, she hopes that person realizes how much she's worth everything. Because she knows, she is worth everything. And how much her LOVE saves, and beautifies and brings joy.

But for now, she is still blinded. With her own hopes and dreams. She still doesn't see the girl by the sidewalk anxiously waiting for her. Waiting for a slight glimpse from her. So that when the day comes the cycle breaks, when she finally sees her and appreciates her, that girl would come running into her arms. Thankful and rejoicing that all the hurt and the pain has reaped good love.

When? :c

Current mood: SAD. and crying. ;c

Tricia & Aisa goes to 168

Our original plan was to leave at around 8 but since we are late sleepers we also woke up late, so my sister and I had to hurry up so we could leave our house by 10 and get there by 11. So of course we had to prepare our "wag-mukhang-sosyal-o-may-pera" look. And this is the best we came up with: Thanks to my mom for our Lesportsac sling bags!


* Good Morning look, picture muna bago magsampay ng basang towel. Haha.

We rode the LRT to get to Recto station. Then from there rode a Divisoria bound jeepney. After about 10 mins. we got off near Tutuban Mall. Aaaah, 168! Shopping! Our first stop was in our special secret (but not so secret) shoe store. Kathy and I fondly call it "Ate-Kuya's store". This is where you'll find nice shoes from China or Korea that you will not normally find in 168 mall, St. Francis or elsewhere. The designs are more unique and more cutting edge. Naks cutting edge daw o. Haha. We bought 7 pairs of shoes (I tell you my head was spinning from excitement!), so yeah we got a good deal (our negotiation training in merch pays off especially in shooping sprees!). Paid only P1500 for everything. That's only one pair of shoes from Schu or Janylin or anywhere in the mall! We just love love love Ate-Kuya. :) After that I bought 3 more flat shoes from another store (see pic, its the yellow, black and d blue one in front hehe) for P660. Okay, MAYBE I am a little shoe crazy. Afterwards, we entered the 168 mall which was packed, as in PAKSHIT (!!!) with lotsa people. I got tired trying not to get dizzy from the swarm of people and tired from trying to box out everyone! We ate at the food court and boy was I hungry!!! Parang PG na pasosyal. Haha. Since we only discovered later that there are nice fastfood restos on the other side (like Wendys, Tokyo2, Chowking, Mcdo) I opted to eat sizzling t-bone steak and adobong eggplant (haha pasosyal) plus extra rice! Well I didn't finish everything but I got so bloated afterwards.

After our one hour deadline (since my sister's bf was already waiting for her at home) my purchases (aside from the shoes) got down to 2 cellphone pouches, accessories, 4 undies, 1 dress (which we bought outside and a lot cheaper), plus some more I can't remember. Hehe. Well I took some pics! Enjoy! The wonders of 168!

* our new shoes!
* my favorite from the bunch. A nice black wedge! It's so cute and comfy! Sorry sa nailpolish ko d ko pa naayos. Haha.
* i heart my orange slingback. :)
* gray booties I bought (although it would have been nicer in black). I don't know why I bought this and where I'm gonna use it, but I paid for it anyway. Haha.
* some of the accs I bought! Bought the necklaces for P75! And the earrings for only P80 each! The glam bangle for P50. :)

There are more fasyon treasures there waiting to be discovered. So, who wants to go on my next adventure?:)

Dreams.Love.Lust

I am near my boiling point. In work, love, life. But more on love, I am close to giving up. Algn and I as much as possible doesn't talk about our plans especially with each other. We both think it might jinx our relationship. She is the type of person who only plans for her future (not with anyone else). And I, I have been there. In my past relationship (with a girl) we made so many plans that when we broke up, it just left us both disappointed. From then on, I told myself that planning my life with another person might be a curse. Plans especially mutual plans just makes break up harder. With Algene, we live our lives one day at a time. We do talk about our "plans" sometimes, but they're all open-ended and indefinite. We are aware that time may change us and all we could do is trust time hoping that in the end it would still bring us back together. But she's my longest ever, and I am too. So sometimes I can't help but daydream, a life with her by my side. Well, I have plans...secret plans. But I'm afraid to share it with her since I know her too well, and I know she'll just answer me with a "wag na natin pagusapan yan" or "epal" hehe. She often tells me she misses me and she often IM's me with millions of job openings in Dubai, but she never has a Plan B aka "desperate plan to be with you". I understand that she wants to be with me but she'd rather suffer being far away from me than sacrifice my career for her. It is mostly architects and engineers that are in demand in Dubai. And I love her for that.

So this morning we had a chat, she told me she wants to buy a new car there. It really pissed me off because a new car means a new loan which equates to no savings and she not coming home for a long time. I am against it. I want her to save because that's the reason she's so far away from me. So she could earn more and save. And her brilliant idea to buy a car is not gonna help with her saving. Then we fought. And she went on saying I should go to Singapore because that's where I would be able to find jobs that's within my line of work. Then I stopped typing responses... I just stared at the monitor 'coz my head was spinning. At the back of my head I was thinking, "How long? How long do I still have to wait? I only want to ber with her." :c Then she buzzed me asking why I'm not answering back, so I just replied with an "Okay." It's more like an "Okay, whatever you say I give up". Right then and there I wanted to tell her why should we even bother, we both could just walk away from this thing we have and live our lives separately so we don't have to deal with this fucking distance anymore. That's when she said "I do have plans for us. I just want to be stable first before you get here". She said she wants to buy a car so that when I get there I won't ever have to deal with their harrowing problem of sky high taxi meter and the stress of finding a cab or riding a bus with smelly pakistanis on 'em. She said that she wants to make life easier for me 'coz right now for her (or them) it's hard as hell. Even with free company accommodation it's still hard as hell. Then she said I must now learn how to cook so that when I get there I could just cook for her. I started to smile. She actually have plans for us. :) I told her I'd do anything except clean the toilet, that's when another discussion started. I will never EVER scrub the toilet!

My point is ( I actually have a point! Haha!) why is it that every time I find a reason to walk away, she then gives me a hundred reasons to stay. Everytime I feel like giving up, she utters something then suddenly everything becomes okay. Whenever I feel close to giving up, she talks to me then it feels like everything is as easy as it should be.

Oh, the wonders of love and misery.

P.S. After talking to her on IM I called her telling her I am "toey". If you know what I mean. Haha! No honey, it's not just about THAT. Although, it kinda is. :P You know you miss me :)

a trip to our local video store

After work, I went to a pawnshop near our place to GCASH my payment for a mineral concealer I purchased from Mia. (Plugging muna) If you're looking for an uber nice concealer minus the chemicals contact Mia of Beautypod (beautypod.multiply.com) she's selling Luminare Mineral Make-up and I just love the mineral concealer (shade: caramel) because it's light to the skin and doesn't come off easily. It's also easy to blend to the skin. But I prefer using it with a liquid concealer for a more luminous effect. A 3g jar (worth P500) is super worth it since it lasts for more than 6 months. So there, I don't mind letting go of P500 if it means hiding my annoying under eye circles (uugh stress!). And no Joie, it's not chinchanzu! Boo!

So there, I then decided to pass by our local video store, Evideos (kainis wala na kasing videocity boo) to rent some dvds. So I was browsing through some shelves when suddenly the staffs acted freakishly kinikilig as 2 guys entered the store. I looked at the first guy who went in, thought what the heck he's not even that cute, then continued my cd browsing. I turned around to look at the other shelf when I caught a glimpse of the other guy. It was Gerald Andersen. Soooo, that's why! But suprisingly, the other orcs (haha!) in the store didn't pin him down for some picture or autograph. WOW. And I, I was trying hard not to look at him again. Eew baka sabihin niya fanatic ako! Haha. I also resisted my urge to text my sister, which I did anyway. She has a huge crush on him Haha! So I browsed some more (darn I can't find anything new and interesting to rent!), so I opted to rent 2 cds of The Simpsons. Haha. I headed for the counter and I was still trying not to look at him (even though he's just standing beside the counter)! Well, I admit he IS kinda cute even in sweaty basketball outfit with a towel on his head. BUT, I still didn't feel any kind of "kilig" (kala mo mich ah, HA!). And then I exited the premises. So for all you fanatics out there, this is the place to be! (Plugging ulit!) Come drop by Evideos and who knows you might catch your favorite star here! O Aiza malay mo next time si John Lloyd na! Haha.

So there! That's my fun fun morning. It's comatose day! Can't wait.

LSS (OPM): Neon by Spongecola

Your smile is gently freezing
Snow throws it away
You're the laughter in my silence
The cold that keeps me awake
Green towel less soft spoken
Thoughts you never knew
Your lies and empty promises
Blew them all on hue.

How does it feel?
How is it that I can feel?
coz I, I need to know.

coz I, I know I can never be enough
to replace your whatever
and I, I think it's shiny and blue
like a lens that see through
coz I, I know I can never be enough
to replace your whatever
now everything is silent,
and everything is still without you near.

Everything about you
the world was something new
and I was there at the open
well just to be with you
but every time I see the shelter
and every time I walk away
you're the laughter in my silence
the cold that feeds my day.

and every time I see you passing by
I'll just stand here waiting for you
and I will talk to myself on a lazy Sunday afternoon
and I'll still say that prayer for you
i'll be a little bit kind enough
while trying to be so perfect you'll see
and nothing can compare to
whatever lies out there.

there's no one here.
there's no one here.

what's up with me.

I am high on something today. Must be the oil from the foods I've been eating. My head is throbbing like crazy! I just feel happy today. And liberated. And yeah, high. Found out I lost a piece of my necklace. It won't ever be complete without it! :c It's like my kryptonite. And now, I'm slowly dying. Uh, not really. Well aside from that I was also high on irritation towards a certain person. That's when Aiza started singing then I started laughing. I love Aiza! I would totally marry her if only she's gay. Haha! Which will never happen in a million lifetime. We talked about it though! But only to lessen our tax payables. So anyway, I love Aiza not because she's loud like me but because she's always as natural as she can be... same with Lily and Tricia. :) I love the Row 4 girls. (Oh and I love Mich too. :))

So there, with my necklace mishap I also forgot to log out of our biometrics. And when I got home I nearly broke our gate. My mom just laughed at me. I just told her I'm uber sleepy.

So there. I really have nothing to blog about. But I'll give a reward to anyone who could give me back my heart (crystal heart).

Online Shopping: Part 4

My quest for party clothes started after our last gimik in Absinth. I had to turn my closet inside and out, and scout for a nice dress in 2 malls to find something gimik appropriate to wear. My gimik clothes are outdated and all I have are sunday dresses (right Aiza? haha. So now, I'm on a quest, yes an actual quest, and stock on party wears. My first find is a cute dress from ebay from my favorite seller Wengpot! :) It's a PRP tea for two Estella dress tagged for P1500, which I was only able to buy for P320! It might not be the perfect fit for me but that's easy. I always have Manang to repair my clothes. Haha.

My latest online buy, the one in my previous blog, was not that nice. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I could sell it again anyway. My friend Lydia just messaged me if I would like to come to Ascend next week. So...on to my next buy! Honey... clothes are investment. Remember that!

Thinspiration

I can't stop eating. I've been munching on anything, as in ANYTHING I can lay my hands on. I'm having a stomachache (aside from my fucking cramps). Argh. But I never gain weight. I am desperate to get fat and everybody knows that. And my merch buddies and Row 4 knows I am a consistent eater. As in they seldom see me not chewing. Lily and I have our own food reserve drawer. I have a bottle of peanut butter stashed somewhere (I think it's in Vian's drawer) and she has a bottle of cheese whiz in my drawer. Haha. I don't know where the cookies Mich gave us yesterday are (it's missing! To the culprit: Pls. just give it back!) but the Piaya is half finished. Sorry but it's addicting.

So there, I never get fat. And I hear a lot of people say they want to get as thin as me (which I totally don't have any fucking idea why). One of my friend, Hi Kim! (haha), called me her "thinspiration". Wow. Haha. It breaks my heart everytime. It's because I've seen people dine over pineapple and homemade salad, do 3-day food diets, just to get thin. AND I, I basically chomp on any food (with preferably lotsa oil and fats!) and finish 2 cups of rice during lunchtime just to gain weight. You know what I mean? It's a freakin' curse! This is again a testimony of how unfair life is! Why is it that for some people, gaining weight is as fast as Michael Phelps in the olympics and losing weight is like dragging 3 sacks of brick up Mt. Everest in under 1 hour. For me, it's the other way around. I can lose weight as fast as I can say f--- you. I enrolled in a weight gain program in Brickroad gym but for 1 month of utmost training it only got my butt firmer (which by this time has been again called by gravity) and I gained some teeny weeny muscles on both my arms (which looks yucky and also by this time has disappeared). The program was mainly weights and not too much cardio, I can't sweat 'coz it might make me lose weight. One time while I was doing one of my leg exercise in front of me is a mommy who is sweating like crazy, she said she needs to lose some pounds for Boracay. She asked me what I was doing there I said I am trying to gain weight, and she gave me that puzzled look. Duh! Not everyone who goes to the gym is desperate to shed some pounds. Argh. So after my training program, I never returned to the gym(ha!) I thought I would never really achieve anything as long as I'm working night shift and choosing my bed over our dining table. Well, I think that's the primary reason why I never get fat. I work at night, so whenever I go home sometimes I just fall right asleep skipping lunch and dinner. Fine fine, it's my fault. Kathy said I should be eating 6 times a day. At work, I think I'm eating more than that. I eat like a pig. You should see me eat. And I eat basically anything. Except of course tinapa and fish belly.

I also know that if I continue eating oily foods I could die of heart attack anytime. So pls. if you know any nutritionist, pls. tell them to call me.

To Keira Knightly,

I totally feel for you. And I totally understand you when you said that not all people who are thin, are freaking anorexic. I dunno why they never get it! Sometimes, I just choose to label myself as an anorexic bitch so people won't ask me anymore how I got this slim (i prefer slim over thin it sounds more sexy). It's not always about choices! Curses happen! For real!

xoxo,

A

Row 4 Win Day

Our boss is on leave today, soooo Row 4 is semi rejoicing (minus Lily coz she has been resting in the clinic for hours now due to unknown allergies)! Don't get me wrong we love our boss but without him here we feel a little less pressured and umm natural. So it's officially Row 4 day! Can't wait for our complete Row 4 week! Advance Happy Birthday Tricia dear! :) Party party row 4 attagirl time!

I am wearing dorky glasses, not because i'm making pacute (duh! i would prefer contacts over glasses!) but because my monitor is making my head ache and spin. It is on it's maximum un-brightness (thanks mich and aiza) but it's still bright for me. So, I brought glasses. And it's helping. Plus I downed 2 glasses of coffee. I'm on super high high high work mode. We are also trying our best to drown out the Amtalk noise with OPM songs, which to this time failed. Argh.

I am also in a trance as I am undergoing an out of body experience coz of my fucking stomach cramps! Argh! I hate red flag day! Aside form the fact that I can't be hyperactive. I have to keep my legs crossed the whole day. It's the most comfortable position I would ever be in! Argh! I have the worst cramps ever. One time I almost fainted because my eyesight suddenly turned pitch black and my whole body got numb. It felt like I was blood drained. Fuck. And me trying to control it or fight against it (just like what I'm currently trying to do) is hard as hell.

Lily's up, now Row 4's complete! Haha! I am also being bombarded by freaking pricing issue emails. I wanna go home. 3 hours to go. 3 long fucking hours.

Listening to: GUSTO NA KITANG MAKITA by Session Road

(Listen to it here: http://www.tristancafe.com/music/flash/gustonakitangmakita.html)

Parang ang bagal ng takbo ng panahon pag wala ka
Alam kong walang dapat sisihin na ako’y
Nandito at nandiyan ka.

Pero dahil malayo ka
Ako’y nalulungkot na

Gusto na kitang makita
(Kita kita sa mata)
Gusto na kitang makasama
(Magsama tayong dalawa)

Pininta mong larawan ko
Ang mga una kong nakikita sa umaga
Pagbangon sa kama siguradong
Ang araw ay may bagong pag-asa.

Parang ang bagal ng takbo ng panahon pag wala ka
Alam kong walang dapat sisihin na ako’y
Nandito at nandiyan ka.

Heaven and Hell

Intoxicated in blind fervor. Toppled & trampled upon by these shockwave of emotions. You proudly stood on the the edge of your pedestal. One breath, one gust of unforgiving wind, you plunge deeper and deeper into the abyss. Uncertain. Derailed. Battled. Then a split second from eternal fracture (or sorrow), i---freed from the wicked breeze--with every bit of my heart and my arms stretched, caught you. Redeemed from some destructive catalyst, you sought for those familiar eyes in the dark. Seeing my light, utopian longing , oh sweet reverie... you succumb to my love. I saved you. I am your night star. Your eternal twilight. Sweet, sweet misery.

Fun Life of a Merchandiser Part0

We always have a lot of fun whenever US suppliers come over to visit. Aside from free dinners, lunch or Starbucks, well more than that we enjoy teaching them new things. There are some who are so familiar (you'd be surprised!) with our culture and some who are totally clueless. But nevertheless, everyone leaves this country amused and all of them said they will definitely come back. Almost of them also knows I have a gf, that's because my merch buddies assume they could out me anytime. Argh! Well, I don't mind anyway. And I don't care. Haha. So anyway, my favorite was Chris of Sweda! He really went out of his way to bond with us. Well umm I made him smoke even when he said he quit a year ago. Sorry. :) We also went to a karaoke bar within working hours (fun! with Claire's consent :P) afterwhich I can't work anymore out of intoxication. I also taught him the word "CHORVA". I guess he never discovered that it's actually a gay lingo. Haha. Here's Chris with us!

I also enjoyed Nina of Leed's visit. We were able to bond over champagne one morning in her uber nice suite in Discovery! AND, we taught her the merch "the Corrs" pose.

Too bad there's a Manila visit supplier curse going on. Basta! Still, it was still fun spending time with them. Especially one supplier (I wouldn't name her na lang) who's a super out lesbi it's so cool. Haha. And when she learned that I am too (of course they outed me again, as always) her stories never stopped. Haha.

I love being in merch coz aside form meeting people there are too a lot of... FREEBIES! :P

Midsummer Night's Dream

Drowning in euphoria and echoes of laughter, i waltz in darkness as streaks of lights blind my eyes. I envision your face. Blindfolded and hands tied, pinned down and mildly caressed, YOU HAVE ME... even from thousands of miles away.

HATIN' on a SUNDAY + Booked Saturday

My multiply account is broken! Argh! I can open it but I just can't upload anything and I can't access my Inbox. Darn! I have tons of pics to upload and I've done the verification process properly but there's still an error it's pissin' me off! I hope their customer service responds soon. :(

So anyway, last night I wasn't in comatose (as I usually am). I came home from work Saturday earlier than usual. My mom teased me why despite of my endless overtime (without fucking pay) I would still have a deduction for undertime pay. Oh yeah, why didn't i think of that? Of course I always think of that! And it's unfair!!! But it is life. And most of the time it's unfair. Offsetting overtime with undertime would make life sooo perfect, IF that happens. Which never will. So anyway I slept for 6 hours then 2 hours later I met up with my ex RDS-Accs Divisionmates. I super missed them! All I ever heard from them was how thin I got. *sighs* I know. And I know why. I would really really like to work within normal hours. Working at night is really not healthy for me. Well, soon. SOON. But for now, I'd have to put up with all the stress from work, eating once or twice a day and not having enough sleep. So going back, I missed them! And the food in CYMA (located at level 6 Shangrila) is delicious. I loved the salad and shrimp pasta. Try their iced tea, it's heaven. After catching up with them and making them laugh we then said our goodbyes and I met up with Aiza. We then headed for Greenbelt for our night out at Absinth (Greenbelt 3). I had fun the whole night except for the Guestlist screw up part. But nevertheless, I had fun. Thanks Lydia for getting them in. I also was able to see my other HS friends (not my HS kada) and we too did some slight catching up. After Absinth we then went to Starbucks to chill WHICH ended up with us making fun of people (i know it's bad but it's kinda amusing especially when you don't have anything more to do). The place is packed with foreigners, mostly of Iranian-Svity-looking people. Eek.

Although I wish we should have gone to The Fort (since the crowd there is better), it was still fun. Next time. Next time. :)

Lost in Translation

Sometimes, I feel like drifting away from here. Sometimes I feel like a totally different person, and I don't know if I like it. Well it feels like I do. Then it starts to rain. Being super sunshiney 24/7 is tiring. After getting another glass of coffee I then sit in front of our pantry window facing the Ortigas buildings, streets, a never ending view of the Metropolitan. Then I stare... in silence. Holding my coffee glass for warmth I stare in silence. And for the first time this whole fucking day, I felt peace.

Love-Hate relationship: Part 2 - Edited

I have a dysfunctional family, err parents. Amusingly dysfunctional. I never had the stereotype kind of mom and dad. Must be because my dad in his growing years was brought up in a slightly liberated setting, i saw his vintage pics and he was a hippie, wearing orange bell bottoms and pointed shoes and his hair was long. So retro. Eewy, but still cool. He was a prankster in high school and had of tons of violations in LSGH, almost did not graduate together with his "barkada" including yeah..Edu M. Double eewy. Now I know where my brother and I got our "takaw violations sa school" character. The day before he got married to my mom he and his friends got involved in a (i don't know what kind) of shooting. As in involving guns and bullets. His music preference includes Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin & Black Sabbath and I grew up with him trying to make me like them. He however did not succeed. But once he did when he made me love believe it or not, the band NO DOUBT. He was the one who introduced their music to me. Haha. He's the coolest dad, except when he's super drunk then he becomes the not-so-likable madaldal and annoyingly makulit dad. Grr!!! Maybe that's why my brother and I loves alcoholic mamams too. Hehe. Me and my mom once also flushed in the toilet all the maryjanes we found in a 1 gallon selecta can. I was still in HS then. If i've known it was that expensive I should have stashed some and sold it. Haha. :P So yeah that's my super cool but oftentimes annoying dad.

My mom on the other hand was brought up in a utilitarian like household. She was telling us that they were always required to finish their food and failing to do so results to swollen butt. So she always nag me to finish my food (that I hate) and I'd only shut up and still leave one portion of unfinished food on my plate. Sometimes it annoys me how my mom and sometimes my dad tries so hard to act strict even if they know we'd just ignore them 'coz it's not bagay. Haha! But sometimes just to make them feel better I follow their orders, then continue ignoring them again. Haha. When I was in HS I tried to rebel against them 'coz even if they're not strict in the standard norms, I felt like they were strict based on my own measures. So I always got into fights with them especially my mom. I once left home for 2 days and crashed in my friend's place. If my sister didn't call me to relay my dad's message that they won't have me enrolled, I would not have gone home. When I got home my dad just acted normal as if nothing happened, but I didn't speak with my mom for months. Looking back I feel so stupid for acting that way. Haha. I don't know why I felt so much angst back then, to the point where I started "cutting" myself. Cutting, meaning involving a blade a cutter or a huge pin and my wrist. It continued til my college days, it became my avenue to release pressure and stress. I was a class officer then and I always felt pressured, apart from the pressure of staying away from failing grades. I can never handle my mom and dad's anger if I fail, I can't handle them being disappointed. I've seen that once when I failed one subject back in HS. So when I was in college, class card distribution day is the ultimate make or break day for me. I asked my dad once why out of us 3 (siblings) my grades were always the biggest deal to them. Well, my sister failed when she was in UP and my brother ALWAYS fail and he also got kicked out of UST, but they never reacted harshly. He answered saying "Coz we never expect you to fail". So that led to more cutting. Haha. Which I also think was stupid. But til now I have never fully got it out of my system. I have not done it for a long time and I hope nothing would trigger it again.

Going back to my family, I love my parents. I was never and I'm still not affectionate to them. Ever. The most "affectionate" they could get from me is a hug (that's pilit pa) and some goodbye kiss whenever I leave home and kiss whenever they get home or I get home. But in my mind I always tell them I love them. And I don't know how I'd ever live without them. Of course, they don't know that coz I think it's baduy and I've always liked to live on my own. That's why my mom already perfected her blackmailing drama when she's making lambing. My mom nags endlessly and we hate her whenever she does. But she's the most annoyingly malambing mom (with slight extortion) of them all. She would kiss, hug and talk to us even when we're sleeping. Thank God I'm not my brother (huh? haha) coz she doubles her sweetness with him, she still treats him like a baby. Yuck.

They have a lot of annoying traits but I love them because even if my mom says it over and over again like a broken record as if we're forever indebted to them, they made us study in good schools. Even without enough finances, because for them it's the best gift any parent could give to their child. We were never spoiled but we were not deprived either. They always try to act strict but they still give in to our requests (with certain conditions). They are also always nice to our friends and they are always telling us to be generous and share with others whatever it is we have even if we don't have much. But I love them mainly because they've always accepted us for who we are. I feel lucky becasue I have parents who are understanding. My dad once said, in a bonding session with my relatives in Q.C., that he doesn't care whoever we choose to love as long as he sees us happy. Well, they've always stood up for us. They trust us so much even if I fail them sometimes. My brother's gf have a son from her first marriage and whenever that little boy's around they act like crazy grandparents. Most parents wouldn't do that. Well, I have a gf and my sister had one too (long before Miles, her current bf) and they accepted them as if they're part of the family. Maybe that's why I am never scared to be myself. And I thank them for that. And I'm getting too corny na so I'm gonna end this post na. Haha!

I don't know how long we would have them in our lives (coz we all know life's too damn short!), but if only my pixie dusts are real, I would have them stay forever. In my prayers, I would always tell God to make me go first so I won't have to deal with the pain of losing anyone in my family. Don't get me wrong, I hate them to death sometimes, but I think that's perfectly normal. Right? Another love hate relationship story.

My mom just texted that I have to buy my own food. Argh. Hate her.