Love-Hate relationship: Part 2 - Edited

I have a dysfunctional family, err parents. Amusingly dysfunctional. I never had the stereotype kind of mom and dad. Must be because my dad in his growing years was brought up in a slightly liberated setting, i saw his vintage pics and he was a hippie, wearing orange bell bottoms and pointed shoes and his hair was long. So retro. Eewy, but still cool. He was a prankster in high school and had of tons of violations in LSGH, almost did not graduate together with his "barkada" including yeah..Edu M. Double eewy. Now I know where my brother and I got our "takaw violations sa school" character. The day before he got married to my mom he and his friends got involved in a (i don't know what kind) of shooting. As in involving guns and bullets. His music preference includes Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin & Black Sabbath and I grew up with him trying to make me like them. He however did not succeed. But once he did when he made me love believe it or not, the band NO DOUBT. He was the one who introduced their music to me. Haha. He's the coolest dad, except when he's super drunk then he becomes the not-so-likable madaldal and annoyingly makulit dad. Grr!!! Maybe that's why my brother and I loves alcoholic mamams too. Hehe. Me and my mom once also flushed in the toilet all the maryjanes we found in a 1 gallon selecta can. I was still in HS then. If i've known it was that expensive I should have stashed some and sold it. Haha. :P So yeah that's my super cool but oftentimes annoying dad.

My mom on the other hand was brought up in a utilitarian like household. She was telling us that they were always required to finish their food and failing to do so results to swollen butt. So she always nag me to finish my food (that I hate) and I'd only shut up and still leave one portion of unfinished food on my plate. Sometimes it annoys me how my mom and sometimes my dad tries so hard to act strict even if they know we'd just ignore them 'coz it's not bagay. Haha! But sometimes just to make them feel better I follow their orders, then continue ignoring them again. Haha. When I was in HS I tried to rebel against them 'coz even if they're not strict in the standard norms, I felt like they were strict based on my own measures. So I always got into fights with them especially my mom. I once left home for 2 days and crashed in my friend's place. If my sister didn't call me to relay my dad's message that they won't have me enrolled, I would not have gone home. When I got home my dad just acted normal as if nothing happened, but I didn't speak with my mom for months. Looking back I feel so stupid for acting that way. Haha. I don't know why I felt so much angst back then, to the point where I started "cutting" myself. Cutting, meaning involving a blade a cutter or a huge pin and my wrist. It continued til my college days, it became my avenue to release pressure and stress. I was a class officer then and I always felt pressured, apart from the pressure of staying away from failing grades. I can never handle my mom and dad's anger if I fail, I can't handle them being disappointed. I've seen that once when I failed one subject back in HS. So when I was in college, class card distribution day is the ultimate make or break day for me. I asked my dad once why out of us 3 (siblings) my grades were always the biggest deal to them. Well, my sister failed when she was in UP and my brother ALWAYS fail and he also got kicked out of UST, but they never reacted harshly. He answered saying "Coz we never expect you to fail". So that led to more cutting. Haha. Which I also think was stupid. But til now I have never fully got it out of my system. I have not done it for a long time and I hope nothing would trigger it again.

Going back to my family, I love my parents. I was never and I'm still not affectionate to them. Ever. The most "affectionate" they could get from me is a hug (that's pilit pa) and some goodbye kiss whenever I leave home and kiss whenever they get home or I get home. But in my mind I always tell them I love them. And I don't know how I'd ever live without them. Of course, they don't know that coz I think it's baduy and I've always liked to live on my own. That's why my mom already perfected her blackmailing drama when she's making lambing. My mom nags endlessly and we hate her whenever she does. But she's the most annoyingly malambing mom (with slight extortion) of them all. She would kiss, hug and talk to us even when we're sleeping. Thank God I'm not my brother (huh? haha) coz she doubles her sweetness with him, she still treats him like a baby. Yuck.

They have a lot of annoying traits but I love them because even if my mom says it over and over again like a broken record as if we're forever indebted to them, they made us study in good schools. Even without enough finances, because for them it's the best gift any parent could give to their child. We were never spoiled but we were not deprived either. They always try to act strict but they still give in to our requests (with certain conditions). They are also always nice to our friends and they are always telling us to be generous and share with others whatever it is we have even if we don't have much. But I love them mainly because they've always accepted us for who we are. I feel lucky becasue I have parents who are understanding. My dad once said, in a bonding session with my relatives in Q.C., that he doesn't care whoever we choose to love as long as he sees us happy. Well, they've always stood up for us. They trust us so much even if I fail them sometimes. My brother's gf have a son from her first marriage and whenever that little boy's around they act like crazy grandparents. Most parents wouldn't do that. Well, I have a gf and my sister had one too (long before Miles, her current bf) and they accepted them as if they're part of the family. Maybe that's why I am never scared to be myself. And I thank them for that. And I'm getting too corny na so I'm gonna end this post na. Haha!

I don't know how long we would have them in our lives (coz we all know life's too damn short!), but if only my pixie dusts are real, I would have them stay forever. In my prayers, I would always tell God to make me go first so I won't have to deal with the pain of losing anyone in my family. Don't get me wrong, I hate them to death sometimes, but I think that's perfectly normal. Right? Another love hate relationship story.
My mom just texted that I have to buy my own food. Argh. Hate her.

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