the great LOBSter theory

I wrote this back in September 2006, the year when I was again led by some force down the path where I was before. It's the year I again... fell in love with a girl. ;)

I know it's lame but I just want to share what's making me laugh now. My lovelife. In my state of boredom I actually found something to think about and now I'm stressing myself out evaluating my pasts and my now. I dunno about others, but mine is always exciting. Is it because people come as quickly as they leave? Or is it because of my perception of the whole "relationship" "love" scenario? Love is never boring for and to me. I experience happiness or pain in a snap of a finger. I am either in an illegal place or i am nowhere at all. Those things excite me, they make me alive, they keep me sane but most of the time...insane. Everything is temporary. But then after sometime you get tired of living in a circle. Constant running makes one tired. And then you start evaluating your life.. and yourself. You start asking if it's you who's inconsistent, or all the people you came across to. Then you wonder if it's too late to turn everything around. You wade in the water, praying and wishing your hopes would save you from sinking. And then one ordinary day, a silver lining appears. Someone comes for you. Suddenly, everything becomes a whirlwind. Every inhibition fades, all your security wire dissolves. You're defenseless. And then, it's a make or break decision for you. 'Coz in this life there's only 2 sides of the story, it's either that person will stay or leave eventually. It is just how you deal with things after. That's why when "you" came, you should know that I lay everything on the line. And though our bond is full of uncertainties, as in more than the normal, I'll do everything I can to save everything we have. :) We might come across more rain than sunshines. But for you it's all worth it. You know in this life, remorse is never an option for me. Now.. i am with someone "different", but someone I definitely love. #fishface#

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