Genesis-Revelation

Some people may think it's as easy as choosing the right ice cream flavor, break ups that is...when you know you have in your hands the hearts of 2 people... the one i loved for 3 years more than my life & and the one I love now more than that. It's hard as fucking hell. Some people may think that a choice could be made just by snapping your fingers. But it's harder than that, believe me. It's harder than anything else I ever did in my whole life. It's heartbreaking. And I cry my heart out everytime.

So here's the thing. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years. I got the chance to be with her (physically) for a year before she decided to work in Dubai. People might think I gave up on her easily, some might think I just plainly cheated, some might ask how I can leave her like that when she's been there for just 2 years. Well, it's the longest 2 years of my life. I might still be with her if she made those 2 years easy or bearable on my part. Some people might hate me because of it, some asked me to "bear" some more, but that's too easy to say..when you are not the one who's feeling all the pain, when it's not your emotions that's tested EVERYTIME. And I'm only human, just like everyone else. I get tired. I get exhausted. And this is my boiling point. It didn't happen overnight, that's the thing. It just gradually happened. And I fought hard, God knows how hard I tried to understand and accept and forgive over and over. And it's not like I didn't shut the other person out, over and over. I rejected her and hurt her so many times by shoving it to her face how inlove I was. But she never left me, and as a friend she was there everytime I breakdown and rant on how muhc I feel neglected and ignored and taken for granted. She was there everytime I had a fight with the one in Dubai, everytime we broke up then make up a day after. Then one day, I realized I can stop complaining..and ranting..and wishing and hoping for changes from her. I could stop feeling frustrated and disappointed. She (the one who's here) also deserves a chance with me. She who makes my day brighter than it ever was, she who makes my heart skip with joy. She who made my heart happy again. She who makes me more happy than sad or miserable.

After my ym conversation with the one in dubai, after I told her that I might have fallen for someone else, she started sending me millions of messages everyday. She professed her undying love for me and asked me to come with her to Dubai. She asked for another chance, but I feel like I've given her enough chance for almost 3 years to make it right. And now I feel indifferent. If she told me all this and acted like "this" a little earlier things might have turned out to be different. But time was like a thief in the night. Coz I didn't realize that I was able to summon some strength everyday to actually try and walk away. As in seriously walk away. And not like one of those 1-3 day things we always had. But since this is a first for me, I still am confused and my heart gets broken everyday. Some people said I should meet her to give her a chance to explain in person. And I will give her that. Coz it's the right thing to do. And I will also stay away from the other person, coz YES it's also the right thing to do. To be fair and just. I also know I need some time to think on who's absence makes me feel more incomplete.

I just hope I do the right thing. Coz I'm certain this is the last chance for all of us. I have to stand by my decision coz there will be no more turning back. And breaking someone's heart is the hardest thing I would ever have to do. :c

Pls. God give me the wisdom and guidance and strength to do this. :'c