23.7.08

50 Beauty Commandments

As I was browsing through I think my 100th site I came across this 50 beauty tips. This is not only for women (although most of them are) but this applies to everyone. Not bad if you want to cut your horse race to ultra maturity or simply put: old age, meaning sagging skin, wrinkles, dark spots, you know. You can choose not be too vain and religiously follow all 50 but you can at least put some on mind. It will help you feel more youthful and glowing inside.
Read on...

1. I will keep all my makeup sponges clean and crud-free. After all, sponges are for putting on makeup, not mud.
2. I will keep my eyebrows groomed. Stubble is sexy on Italian men, not my brow bone.
3. I will use conditioner on my hair.
4. I will use pore strips to keep my nose whitehead-free.
5. I will get a pedicure regularly. I don’t want to look like a troll.
6. I will trim my nose hairs. Enough said.
7. I will not prick my zits. This will eventually cause scars.
8. I will throw out my old makeup. If it smells like rotten fruit, it goes into the trash.
9. I will not put makeup on while driving. It will cause uneven makeup application and possible automobile accidents.
10. I will not use face powder that is too white for my face. I am not a Japanese Kabuki actor
11. I will have my bigote removed (In case I even come out on TV in full close up.)
12. I will get a hot oil when I need one. It’s good for the hair, it’s good for the soul.
13. I will wash and clean my hair brushes.
14. I will get a haircut every 4 to 5 weeks. I don’t want to look like an overgrown fern.
15. I will exfoliate! I do not want to be a scaly reptile.
16. I will not smoke and put on hair spray at the same time. Hair spray is so eighties, really.
17. I will put on moisturizer every night.
18. I will use sunblock even when I’m not at the beach. Rays today, raisins tomorrow.
19. I will not stop using that chocolate brown/mauve/coral lipstick from the mid-nineties.
20. I will not match my eyeshadow with my clothes.
21. I will stop wearing pink foundation. Caladryl is for itches, not for the face.
22. I will start experimenting with new makeup styles.
23. I will keep my makeup kit neat and organized.
24. I will experiment with nail colors other than beige.
25. I will shave or wax my legs when I wear a skirt or shorts.
26. I will get a bikini wax if I have to wear a bikini or swimsuit.
27. I will not straighten/curl/dye my hair every month. Stressed hair is ugly hair.
28. I will use eye cream.
29. I will immediately remove chipped nail polish.
30. I will not sleep with makeup on. Just think of the pillows and bed sheets the morning after.
31. I will exfoliate my lips and use lip balm regularly.
32. I will keep hand sanitizer handy all the time.
33. I will always have a pack of tissues with me.
34. I will stop buying the same shade of lipstick.
35. I will not wear orange eyeshadow.
36. I will buy a new bath lily or loofah when the old one looks like a dead rat.
37. I will go to the spa at least once before I’m 50.
38. I will have my teeth cleaned every six months.
39. I will clean my makeup brushes every two weeks and replace them when they fall apart.
40. I will moisturize my elbows.
41. I will stop wearing tri-color eye shadow.
42. I will exfoliate and moisturize my feet.
43. I will not wear too-thick makeup.
44. I will clean my ears at least four times a week.
45. I will consult a recent magazine to see if my makeup/hairstyle/clothes are still current.
46. I will not feel insecure because I do not look like Laetitia Casta.
47. I will not make lait the next girl because she looks better than me.
48. I will be beautiful to feel good for myself, not to please other people.
49. I will not put mashed fruits and masticated vegetables on my face.
50. I will learn to laugh at myself when I get too vain.

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